• TNB: Climbing's Big Mistake
  • TNB: Trad Dads and Dad Bods
  • TNB: Do the Right Thing
  • TNB: Big Wall Soloing Sustenance – Cookies vs. Bugs
  • TNB: When Your Rope Falls Off—and 5 Ways to Prevent the Nightmare
  • TNB: Before I Die - What Would Climbers Think?
  • TNB: Raphael Slawinski - Firsthand Account of Everest Earthquake
  • TNB: Point Break - Sharma, Andrada on the Big Screen
  • TNB: Muscle Shoals - Rock and Soul
  • TNB: Naked Soloist is Saner Than Me
  • TNB: The Hard Climb to Heaven
  • TNB: Summer Camp
  • TNB: Suicide in Our Sights
  • TNB: Ethan Pringle's 10 Tips for Sending Your Project
  • TNB: Hawaii Rocks - Totally Aloha
  • TNB: PointGate - Why Comp Climbing Is Not The Future
  • TNB: My First Epic
  • TNB: Eight Ways to Avoid Braking Bad - The Art of the Soft Catch
  • TNB: #Dawnwall and The Creation of Alex Honnlove
  • TNB: Vision Quest - Benji Fink and Mexico’s Steepest Big Wall
  • TNB: The New Dawn (Wall) of Climbing
  • TNB: The Top 5 Weekend Whippers of 2014 (Plus the Comments)
  • TNB: 10 Tips for Jolene Kay, Professional Climber (and Hot Actress)
  • TNB: The Story Behind the Craziest of Rescues
  • TNB: The Risk of Climbing
  • TNB: How to Get Stronger by Doing Nothing for 5 Minutes a Day
  • TNB: Eight Ways to Improve Your Footwork
  • TNB: In Praise of the Weekend Warrior
  • TNB: Joe Kinder Visits the World's Hardest Cave
  • TNB: Celebrating Insomnia in Chamonix
  • TNB: Run, Rabbit - Hermann Gollner, 71, Cranks Pump-O-Rama (5.13a)
  • TNB: Five Best Photos of 2014
  • TNB: Clip Like A Pro - 5 Tips from Sasha DiGiulian and Sean McColl
  • TNB: Five Things Every Gym Climber Must Know About Climbing Outside
  • TNB: Still Jeff Lowe
  • TNB: Moving Over Stone With Doug Robinson
  • TNB: Wheels Up—The Top 5 Climbing Rigs
  • TNB: Is K2 The New Everest?
  • TNB: Things—Besides Us, That Is—That Fall
  • TNB: When Homemade Gear Works, Sorta
  • TNB: The Outsiders
  • TNB: R.I.P. Homero Gutierrez Villarreal - The Padrino of El Potrero
  • TNB: A Short Talk with Sierra Blair-Coyle
  • TNB: Ian Dory, Ninja, or The Craziest Thing I Ever Seen
  • TNB: The Best Crag Dogs of All Time
  • TNB: 5 Ways to Make People Love Your Routes
  • TNB: Hudon and Jones, and Don't Forget It!
  • TNB: Climbing's Tribal Rites
  • TNB: Sasha DiGiulian and Alex Johnson On How to Be a Modern Pro
  • TNB: Is Dean Potter A Bad Father?
  • TNB: Silly Places We’ve Slept - Tales of Unplanned Bivies
  • TNB: Forgotten Hero - Frank Sacherer 1940-1978
  • TNB: The World-Class Weekend Warrior – Martin Keller Climbs V15
  • TNB: Everest Sherpas No Longer Willing to “Grin and Bear It”
  • TNB: Hardheaded Helmet Lesson Learned
  • TNB: Six Most Awesome Jobs for Climbers
  • TNB: The Coolest Climbing Deal Breaker
  • TNB: Sharma and Glowacz Send World’s Steepest Rock Climb
  • TNB: An Encounter with a Legend - Patrick Edlinger, Plus A Whipper Vid
  • TNB: Six Things Every Climber Should Do Before They Die
  • TNB: Falling from the Top
  • TNB: Weekend Whipper
  • TNB: Band of Crushers
  • TNB: Charlie Porter, We Hardly Knew You
  • TNB: Climbing's Greatest Route Names
  • TNB: Hot Women Die and Have Sex on Everest
  • TNB: The Great Tragedy at Carderock
  • TNB: Thoughts On Death, and Last Words
  • TNB: Climbing's Next Big Story
  • TNB: Next Level? Honnold Pushes the Game on El Sendero Luminoso
  • TNB: Jeff Lowe Invented the Sport
  • TNB: The Most Popular Weekend Whippers of the Year
  • TNB: If Ondra Isn't The Best Climber In The World, Who Is?
  • TNB: Storm Years or Typhoon? The Biggest Issue in Climbing
  • TNB: Jim Bridwell Speaks
  • TNB: Honnold's Biggest Solo
  • TNB: Death on Forbidden Peak - Was the NPS Complicit?
  • TNB: Ice Climbing Goes to Sochi Olympics
  • TNB: When Gear Attacks
  • TNB: 8a.nu: The Best Climber in the World is the One with the Most Points
  • TNB: Shutdown: Illegal Climbers in Yosemite—Ninjas or Criminals?
  • TNB: Who is the Best Climber in the World?
  • TNB: The New Courage in a Rucksack
  • TNB: Unsolved Mystery - The Ten Sleep Shooting
  • TNB: The Pad Problem - Honnold, Kehl on Headpoints and Highballs
  • TNB: Travels with Delaney Miller - National Champ Turns to Rock
  • TNB: Jail Food and Booty
  • TNB: Love on the Road
  • TNB: Is Pakistan Safe for Climbers?
  • TNB: Flash Floods, Climbers and How to Get Out of the Way
  • TNB: Climbing's Next Level
  • TNB: Best in Show - Brand New Gear from the Outdoor Retailer Show
  • TNB: Adam Ondra Ties the Knot
  • TNB: Under Pressure - Trotter and Honnold On How Bets Can Help You Send
  • TNB: The Tragedy of Tito Traversa
  • TNB: DR's Crazy Brain Puzzle. Get It Correct or Else.
  • TNB: What Happened To Climbing Films?
  • TNB: Cry of the Colorado Fussy Snivel
  • TNB: Mystery Solved!
  • TNB: The Mystery of Moses Tower - Help Answer a 25-Year-Old Question
  • TNB: No Such Luck
  • TNB: Erasing Midnight Lightning
  • TNB: Mayhem - Crawling, Balling & Brawling on the Evere$t Soap Opera
  • TNB: Watching the Boston Marathon
  • TNB: Chasing the Devil's Snort
  • TNB: Born-Again Gumby
  • TNB: Super Unknown - Austin Dark Horse Establishes 5.14d in Random Texas Cave
  • TNB: Fearless?
  • TNB: The Big Freaking Deal, Ain't Bouldering
  • TNB: Honnold's Achilles' Heel
  • TNB: He's Either Crazy or a Poet
  • TNB: The Fish Cheat and the Prince of Climbing
  • TNB: A Letter from Santa... I mean Sharma
  • TNB: Traveler's Advisory - El Potrero Chico, Mexico
  • TNB: A Year Ago - Athol
  • TNB: Gun Control
  • TNB: What's the Problem?
  • TNB: Derek Hersey's Magic Carpet
  • TNB: The Apprentices
  • TNB: The Jungle
  • TNB: Klem Loskot is Back Climbing V15 and 5.15
  • TNB: Eliminated
  • TNB: The Hurt Locker
  • TNB: The Perils of Sport Climbing
  • TNB: Baddest Climb of the Year
  • TNB: Crossfit Misfit
  • TNB: Eating People and the Real Seventh Summit
  • TNB: Bring It On, Bitch!
  • TNB: What Would Warren Harding Do?
  • TNB: The Curse Of The Bandit
  • TNB: Reality Pro
  • TNB: Chris Sharma and The Art of Jeep Maintenance
  • TNB: American Dirtbag
  • TNB: How Not To Climb 5.12
  • TNB: Project FAIL
  • TNB: The Backwards Future of Climbing
  • TNB: The Death of Progress
  • TNB: The Da Vinci CO
  • TNB: The Philosopher King
  • TNB: Spam Alert
  • TNB: Bad Genes - The Different Types of Gumbies
  • TNB: Mouth Wide Shut
  • TNB: Outside Reality
  • TNB: The Day I Saved Jésus
  • TNB: My Pad, Your Problem
  • TNB: House Rules
  • TNB: Five Things I Don't Hate About Climbing
  • TNB: Metro-Pointing
  • TNB: Beast in the East
  • TNB: Artificial Intelligence
  • TNB: To Boldly Go Sprad Climbing
  • TNB: Self-Destruction
  • TNB: Soul Sport
  • TNB: Nine Pitches
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    Weekend Whipper: Alastair McDowell's Los Indignados (M7) Screamer

    TNB: Chasing the Devil's Snort


    Courtesy of <a target="_blank" href="http://www.Bigstockphoto.com">Bigstockphoto.com</a>. The facts of life are difficult and awkward to explain, but at some point every child will make his/her parents squirm by dropping the inevitable question: “Where does coffee come from?”

    Coffee is nature’s greatest gift. The magical “black water,” as noted by the French writer Balzac who at times drank 50 cups a day, “sets the blood in motion and stimulates the muscles; it accelerates the digestive processes, chases away sleep, and gives us the capacity to engage a little longer in the exercise of our intellects.”

    2.25 billion cups of coffee are drunk each day, making it the second-most valuable traded commodity in the world, edged out only by petroleum.

    The effects and benefits of coffee on athletic performance are well known, yet it is one performance-enhancing substance not banned by the World Anti-Doping Agency. Drinking coffee will make you run harder and faster and longer, and in my stringently scientific research, climb harder and be happier while doing so. Years ago, before the invention of the chocolate-covered espresso bean, I started each morning at a bivy by eating coffee grounds, and at times would carry a stove and espresso maker to the crag, both for enjoyment and as a guarantee. It is not far fetched to say that drinking coffee is as important to your climbing success as dusting your hands with chalk. If I could only have one, I’d choose coffee.

    Some people would view the consumption of coffee as unethical, even diabolical. For a time during the Ottoman dynasty the dark bean was judged as the work of the devil. Drinkers were sewn into sacks and thrown into the Bosphorus river.

    I prefer the position of Pope Clement VIII. When pressured by his minions to declare coffee “the bitter invention of Satan,” the Pope tasted a brew and found it so delicious he proclaimed that, “we shall cheat Satan by baptizing it.”

    It was with this background that I recently traveled to the Intag Valley, a cloud forest in the foothills of Ecuador’s Andes mountains, an enchanting place where a small cooperative produces Arabica beans said to be among the world's finest. For me as a coffee drinker, the trip was like discovering the source of the Nile. As a climber, learning the secrets of the mysterious coffee was like being inducted into the Illuminati.

    Getting to the Intag required over two hours of potholed dirt road that switched along the green and often vertiginous slopes, passing innumerable and spectacular waterfalls and a soccer field.

    The drive was fraught with peril. At one point, an earth-mover with tracks the size of baby elephants used its bucket to whack an enormous boulder that tumbled onto the road.

    Master coffee grower Jorge tending to his devilish berries in the Intag Valley, Ecuador.In the valley bottom and after crossing an ancient swinging footbridge that spans a cauldron they call the Rio Intag, I met Jorge. Ripped with sinew and veins and well tanned by decades under the Equatorial sun, Jorge could pass for a serious climber. He is instead a serious grower of the coffee bean. Jorge has 2,400 coffee plants tucked in the shade of avocado, pineapple, mango, papaya and banana trees, and a curious other tree that I’d never seen but whose fruit had the texture of cotton and tasted like sugar. At 0 degrees latitude the region is exceptionally fertile. Even at 6,000 feet elevation, the Intag's nearly steady year-round temperature and the fertile volcanic soil make this one of the most biologically diverse places on earth. Seventeen percent of the world’s plant species and 20 percent of the bird diversity is here. The Intag is also the home to rare and elusive animals such as the spectacled bear, the last indigenous bruin still alive in South America, and the dwarf deer.

    Trees sprung from the steep and muddy slopes and I had to cling my way from tree to tree up the hillside. This was a surprise, as I had imagined a coffee farm as flatlands, the plants growing in economical rows that could easily be harvested by big machines with forked fingers.

    Until I visited Jorge I’d been to different manufacturing outfits and watched awestruck as robotic looms spun ropes, forges heated and stamped aluminum into carabiners and cobblers painstakingly stitched and glued rock shoes. Each time I’d been impressed by the labor and knowledge that went into producing the gear, and went home amazed that while we continuously complain about prices, we are fortunate that climbing gear is made at all. I would like to report that producing a coffee bean requires no less care and expertise and if we had to grow our own plants and process the beans through to coffee, its cost would equal that of saffron.

    Every misty day during harvest season Jorge clings to his slopes, gently clearing the night’s overgrowth of unwanted plants with a sweep of the machete. Swack!

    He examines the coffee plants and picks the red berries one at a time. Since coffee berries don’t all ripen at the same time, he must repeat this task each day for about three months. How he could even find the plants amid the green tangle is a mystery solved only by years of familiarity. Imagine all the route beta you have committed to memory and you get an idea of how dialed Jorge has his fields.

    To get a coffee plant to even grow, requires Darwinian knowledge. First Jorge must sterilize the ground with boiling water. He then plants a seedling, nestled as I noted earlier only in the shade because direct sunshine spoils the flavor of the bean. During the dry season he must hand water each plant, running piping down from a source hidden somewhere up in the clouds. After two or three years of being carefully pruned and nursed the coffee plant begins producing fruit called cherries. Once these are ripened red and picked, they are fermented in a basin of water. The bad beans float to the top and are scooped out by Jorge. He next runs them through what looks like an old-fashioned clothes wringer, but one that strips off the outer fruit, leaving the green coffee beans. These are dried in the shade then sold to Café Rio Intag where the beans are fed into another machine to remove the the paper-like coating called parchment, then cured, sorted one bean at a time by hand, roasted and bagged. For his part Jorge is paid about $1.50 pound. One coffee plant produces up to one and a half pounds of beans. Ripe beans in the wash tub.

    I bought two pounds of green coffee beans from Jorge and bore them quickly back to Colorado. A trip to WalMart produced a popcorn air popper for DIY coffee-bean roasting. The beans hadn’t been fully processed—the parchment had to be painstakingly picked off each bean by hand before roasting. After 30 minutes of cleaning, my fingers were adequately sore and I had enough beans for one cup of coffee ready for the air popper. The roasting was harder and messier and smellier than I had pictured and for a moment, probably when the half-roasted beans and burned parchment blew across the kitchen counter and the room filled briefly with smoke, I questioned the wisdom.

    Happy thoughts returned, however, as I tamped the grounds into the espresso maker’s portafilter and hit the on button. I stood mesmerized as double jets of creamy brown foam spewed from the machine’s nostrils and into my eager cup. It was like watching a dragon snort. The brew was complex, with earthy notes of Intag’s volcanic dust and a buttery aftertaste. I sank into a leather chair and sipped, eyes pinched shut, and let the coffee do its work. To paraphrase Balzac, sparks shot up into my brain, ideas quick-marched and memories charged in. I imagined Jorge up there on that Andean hillside, his knotty fingers lovingly caring for each plant. Giving them names. Almost as if they were routes.

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