I’d rather have hot sand pounded up my ass than read one of those dashed off, baby-food bland, plugs of word salad commonly referred to as “climbing blogs.” Some people do read them, however, and if you subject yourself to the hell of reading climbing blogs, then you’ve probably read something like this: “I have an opinion and my opinion is that your opinion is opinionated! The reason for my reason is reasonable, while your reason is based on opinionated opinion.”

I’m not making this up. If you don’t believe me, then check out any blog commenting on the completely manufactured controversy erupting online concerning Chris Sharma’s project First Round First Minute.

According to some blogs, Finnish bouldering star Nalle Hukkataival traveled to Spain in order to try Sharma’s project, but was stymied by a “red tag.” Several decades ago, a piece of red cord was sometimes tied to the first bolt hanger and served as an indicator that the sport climb was a closed project. But in the case of First Round First Minute there was no red tag, simply a request by Sharma that Hukkataival stay off the line until he snagged the first ascent. Nalle said OK, and that should have been the end of it.

Obviously, nobody owns the rock and Hukkataival is a big strapping Finn with two k’s in his name. He could have ignored Sharma and climbed on the route if he wanted, but he chose to respect Sharma’s request and climb on the hundreds of other high-end routes and projects at Margalef.

Instead of fading into obscurity, this exchange was elevated to a full-blown, heated debate among the crew of imbeciles who populate the Internet. I’m not going to re-hash what was written because, like Don Quixote, I’ve already “spent sleepless nights trying to understand [climbing blogs] and extract their meaning, which Aristotle himself, if he came back to life for only that purpose, would not have been able to decipher or understand.” Trust me, reading climbing blogs will soon have you jousting at windmills.

Red tagging, no matter how many words you throw at it, is not a controversy. It is always a matter of courtesy. And yet I do believe that Hukkataival did the right thing in allowing Sharma space to complete his project.

Consider for a moment that a sport climb is not simply a line of bolts up a rock face, but (at the risk of sounding pretentious) a work of art with its own set of formal rules that define it. The line of bolts and chalk are marks of choreography or words, and a sport climb only comes into existence the first time it is climbed without falls. Before that it’s simply an idea and the first ascentionist works toward that culminating performance. The initial vision, the bolting, the cleaning, the rehearsal are all secondary to the realization. Like a ballet or a play, the climb comes alive as art when it is performed and it seems particularly daft to argue that an actor or dancer be content to simply practice the work for months and then step aside and happily allow someone else to perform it. Same goes for Sharma with any visionary line that he’s actively working.

To suggest that a first ascentionist offer up his climb before it has been redpointed is like asking a painter to complete a masterpiece to the last stroke, then hand over the brush to a visiting artist to complete the painting, and sign his name.

That’s my opinionated opinion. And this is my climbing blog. Here’s a grain of salt, a red tag and a place to leave your comment: letters@rockandice.com. You decide how to use them.