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How To Jump Off A Mountain Like A Badass

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How to jump off a mountain like a badass (please don’t actually do this):


  • Wear jeans and a leather bomber jacket without base layers, and keep jacket halfway unzipped.
  • No helmet, because that would ruin the badassery.
  • No Crampons either (necessary for bonus points, see below).
  • But sunglasses are okay.


  • Wear a harness waistbelt (without leg loops), backwards.
  • Use technical ice tools, meant for dry tooling, and rack them backwards on backwards harness (so actually forwards).
  • Coil rope on back in some mysterious, badass way.


  • Backflip off cliff. You must backflip.
  • Freefall for a badass amount of time, then swing tools into snow patch.
  • When that doesn’t work, try swinging into water ice.
  • When that doesn’t work, underhand swing into rock cave.
  • Stick it.
  • Hang for a moment, to let badassery sink in with buddies.


When you’ve already self arrested, but your army buddies are still watching, you might as well jump off again. This time, instead of a double tool
self arrest, try using your rope and an ice tool as a grappling hook. Steps:

  • Once suspense builds to badass level, swing to gain momentum and backflip again. You must backflip.
  • While in air, rack one tool.
  • While in air, clip second tool to biner on rope coil.
  • Do a few badass spins to uncoil rope.
  • Toss tool where it will stick.
  • Don’t worry: Mysterious, badass rope coil will uncoil on its own, but don’t forget to grab hand loops at end.
  • At the end of your rope, swing back and forth a few times and then jump onto nicely angled snow ramp, and boot glissade.
  • When cliff band breaks, jump across.
  • Speed scramble down cliff.
  • Once at tree height, jump into branches.
  • Spray buddies with snow.